On fire again

Have you ever gone into prayer feeling like you’ve lost your connection with God? You know He’s present with you, but you also know that no matter how hard you try, you’re not going to feel His presence this time.

You know you have to go through the motions and say the words, and He will still respond. He’s connected to you, whether or not you feel connected to Him. He’s listening and talking and comforting, whether or not you can sense any of these things. Even so, what you know and what you feel are two different things. You feel like nothing you can say or do during this prayer time really matters. And you wish it could be different. You’ve felt so strongly connected before – why not now?

This has happened to me so many times. It’s to be expected; I’m human, and God knows there will be times in prayer that I won’t feel like I’m a part of anything that’s going on. I won’t feel like I’m a part of Him. I know His Holy Spirit will go to work and turn things around. By the end of the prayer session, if I’m not totally fired up and rejoicing as sometimes happens, I’ll at least know I’m closer to feeling connected again. And I’ll know He listened and went to work in me, regardless of how I felt.

That knowledge doesn’t make the moment less frustrating, less disheartening. It doesn’t stop me from wondering what I failed to do, and when. How did I let things get like this? That’s not the point, is it? Our connection with God in prayer doesn’t come from what we do – or don’t do. It comes from Him. Yes, we have to take action and pray. We have to humble ourselves before Him and ask His Holy Spirit to guide our prayers. We have to be willing to participate, even when we don’t feel like we’re really there with Him. But the rest comes from Him.

There’s plenty we do to ourselves during a stressful day or a restless night to work ourselves into knots. To block out His voice, to lose the sense of His touch, to weaken our willingness to trust Him, even though we want to trust Him. But if you’re willing to put yourself before Him in prayer and ask Him, “Why do I feel this way? What do You want me to learn from this? Father, please, make me feel connected to You again. Make me turn myself over to You again” He will take care of everything else.

And – just as you knew would happen – His Holy Spirit will set you on fire for Him again. It might not happen right away, that you know of; but rest assured, it’s happening, and you’ll know soon. It'll be the most honest thing you've ever felt, because you'll know it doesn't come from you; it comes from God. When you get your fire restored and feel a strong connection with the Father, take a quiet moment to thank Him. Then take a moment to realize just how powerful the Holy Spirit is. And how much He loves you.

Fellowship in prayer

Over the past months, I asked God to help me understand fellowship better. He has, in many ways. Among other things, He used my car situation (I didn't have use of my car for many months - a very long story) to show me not only how He can move His Church into action, but also to put me into situations where I could experience many new aspects of Christian fellowship. It's been awesome.

One thing I hadn't thought much about, until today, is fellowship in prayer. It's interesting that one of our associate pastors mentioned just this past Sunday the need for different kinds of prayer, including corporate prayer: praying together as a church body... and as a Church body. All types of prayer are important - prayer time alone, prayer time as a family, prayer time between two prayer partners (whether spoken or silent, whether simultaneous or separate) and prayers together as a group of believers.

I spend most of my time in silent prayer. Silent doesn't mean I'm quiet all the time, or still. But it does mean I plug into God and stay there - I continually ask Him to keep me there; it's certainly not of my own strength that I block out the world's distractions! Even so, this isn't solitary. I call on the Holy Spirit and Jesus; I am in God's presence. I have prayer partners, prayer teams, individuals that I ask to cover me in prayer, particularly in situations where I'm interceding (praying for others). I intercede for others and I ask others to intercede for me. It's not always about asking each other; God also calls people to intercede for us - some of these people we know, others we don't; they're obedient to God's prompting to pray for a stranger, someone who might not have a face or name to them. Clearly, even when I'm by myself praying at 4am in the corner of my living room, I'm not alone. There's always a crowd!

But I had never really looked at this as a kind of fellowship. Not until today. As I prayed for someone this morning, I became aware of a strong connection among so many people - the individual I was praying for, loved ones of that person, along with others who are praying for them and those they are praying for, my own loved ones, others I am praying for, those who are praying for me (to cover me as I intercede for this person, and in general), intercessors I know, intercessors I don't know (people the Holy Spirit has prompted to join us in these prayers), my church family, others in our Church family throughout the world... I felt the presence of everyone, interconnected, strong, supporting, standing firm in their faith and belief, in their desire to invite God in, to let His will be done and glorify Him in all that He is doing in this one individual's situation and life.

All of us together, interconnected in our faith, around one individual, so that God could do His work here. God orchestrated the whole thing. He does it in every single situation of intercession and corporate prayer. That's how much He loves each one of us and wants to be part of our lives. Wants to work His will in our lives so that we can be eternally part of Him. Wow.

I talk a lot about prayers in The Vine. This is an image God continually gives me in prayer, and today, that image became more visible, more tangible for me. Have you ever participated in a group prayer where everyone stands around the person being prayed for? Perhaps each person places a hand on that individual's shoulder, or on the shoulder of the person in front of them, or hands on top of hands, or hands raised over the individual being prayed for, or over the group. Layer upon layer of contact, connection, prayer, love. All part of The Vine.

That's the way my prayer time was today. I was praying alone, silently, and yet I sensed my hands on the shoulders of the person I was praying for; many other hands on top of mine - on my shoulders too. Hands raised over us; others approaching, moving in to join us. At the same time, all of us reaching out in other directions to cover others in prayer and intercession. God's Holy Spirit connecting us all. Though I was in complete isolation, at an hour when my nearest neighbors (not so nearby) weren't even stirring, I wasn't alone. Not even close. Prayers in The Vine.

Prayers through The Vine

This morning when I was in prayer, God prompted me to do something that was new for me. He had me pray for my former classmates from elementary school. This wasn't prompted by my focus on an individual, as often happens during prayer. Instead, He had me recite names, one by one, as they came to mind. For some, I saw their faces clearly; others remained names that I barely recognized, although I knew they were once familiar.

As I recited each name, I prayed for God's blessings on each individual. I'm young enough that most of my former classmates are probably still living, but my prayers of blessing extended to their families as well. As certain names came to mind, I felt God's Holy Spirit working in me, moving strongly into their lives and situations. I don't know whether it was the individual or someone in their family that needed intercession; I don't know if they needed prayers for this moment, for a future situation or to heal an old wound. I don't need to know; God knows, and I trust Him in all things.

I also don't know if God will ask me to continue to pray for this community tomorrow, or at a future time... or to pray for another community from my past. I sense that certain names will stay on my heart for a while in intercession, as God leads. Perhaps other names will come to mind or be placed on my heart. By prompting me to pray in this way, God has opened me to greater understanding of how He works in our lives. I believe each time we learn to pray in a new way, we open ourselves to hearing God more clearly, to understanding our relationship with Him more deeply.

Through this experience, I also gained a new understanding of fellowship and outreach. So many of us want to reach out to the lost of this world; we also want to minister to brothers and sisters in the faith, to strengthen, comfort and encourage. The need seems overwhelming at times. We can't reach everyone - not by ourselves and not even together, without God. But by trusting Him and praying in His will, we can walk out our part in His plan.

While I might have known, as children, some of the individuals I prayed for, I don't know who they are today. I don't know where or how they live. Some might be in ministry or missions or Christian outreach. Others might be living among the lost - might be lost themselves. God has a plan for each of them; by praying, I can support His work in their lives. One of the names on my heart might be a missionary through whom God is changing lives. Another name might be someone living among the lost, someone who God is about to turn around and anoint to bring more of His lost children back to Him.

We can't reach everyone through our daily efforts; but through prayer, God can reach everyone through us. Each of us is part of The Vine. Some parts are well nourished; others are dying - they've cut themselves off from the Source of nourishment. It's through our prayers that God can send His nourishment to every fiber of The Vine; to strengthen us in our faith; to bring others into His Light. When you think of how many ways you can connect with others through The Vine, and how many ways God can work through you to send His nourishment and Light, you will start to understand the awesome power of prayer.